your parents love me but you hate me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize