He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
