I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
