She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
