You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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