Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
