Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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