Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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