so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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