so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
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I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
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Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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