if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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