I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize