Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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