I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
