we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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