I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize