3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think I just sharted jello shots
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