Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
