Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
