haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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