the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
