i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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