my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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