So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
