Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
