He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
