he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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