Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
