Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
