did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
