I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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