Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize