Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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