in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize