Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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