Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
