Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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