Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
