why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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