oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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