I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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