dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize