I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
