at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
