Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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