You can't motorboat a personality
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
