sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
