That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
