just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
