I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
