I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
