Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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