i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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