so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
